Skin Flute Symphony

Some things I have realised of late...

The last week has consisted of me hanging around the house putting together a 6000 word assignment and studying for an exam that I have this wednesday coming up. Its weird, but for 5 days, I spoke to 2 other people in the flesh, a handful on the phone and various by email. It would seem I have become one of those people who can converse great when they don't have to see the other person, but put them in an old fashioned both people in the room type conversation and they stutter and stammer and look at the floor...

Things never use to be this way...but it all fits.

1. I have grown an amazing dislike for people. If I am at the shops or something, I expect people to annoy me, so when they do, I don't get as pissed about it. Even people I know, I have low expectations of.

2. Given a choice between going to a party/get together or staying at home and watching Robocop, I'll take Robocop every time (and I did this last night!).

3. Large gatherings of people make me get kind of paranoid. I use to joke about it a bit as it use to occur every now and then. now it is all the time. I am dangerously close to becoming a hermit.

Some other things I have worked out recently include...

1. Everything I bitch about is my own doing.
2. I am highly unlikely to change any of those things as a. it smacks of effort and b. better the devil you know.
3. I can't recall the last time I listened to music. I don't lilsten to any radio or cd's. My mp3 player has episodes of Beatdown radio on it (from sherdog.com) and if I am listening to anything, it is that.
I don't miss it and I had a thought yesterday that if the Government decided to ban all music, I wouldn't kick up a stink. Would not effect in any way at all. Keep in mind I use to have some music on in the background all the time, even when I slept.
4. As much as I dislike people in general, I have recently voiced interest in 2 new jobs with sport supplement companies, selling stuff to gyms and health food stores. The irony kills me. Here's a guy who self admittedly hates speaking to people, applying for a job where half the battle is relationship building and talking...sweet Jesus why?
5. I have managed to alienate nearly all my old friends. I currently have 2 people I email that aren't work or uni related. I get no phone calls or text messages from anyone, and make none myself.
Does this worry me? Not particularly, but it is kind of strange to think that outside of my girlfriend, I have spoken to perhaps one friend in the last 2 weeks in person.

Thing is, life is a lot easier when it doesn't involve a tonne of people making demands on your time. When I had friends, I was always hearing them go on about stuff and dealiong with their crap, now I speak to no one, my mind is way clearer, so I can think up stuff like this post.

Could I get new friends?? Possibly, but I don't know where from. I think once you hit a certain age, you aren't getting new friends. You make new acquaintances, but it isn't quite the same. Plus, as I don't go out, don't drink or do drugs, have no interests that involve other people and don't follow a local sporting team, my opportunities to meet new and interesting folks are somewhat limited. Unless they like the gym, in which case they had best not speak to me while I am there cause that is just poor form. The gym is not a front bar!

I can't wait for old age...won't be much of a step for me I don't think

posted by SkinFluteSymphony @ 1:23 PM