Skin Flute Symphony

I really feel like getting filthy drunk right now...

but alas, am at work till 9.30 tonight, then back at 9.30 tomorrow, so hence the chances of me doing anything remotely interesting this weekend are minimal.
Fact is, I haven't drunk all year and haven't been drunk since early November last year. I worked Xmas and New Years also, so they were pretty dry also. The bright side of this is I am healthy...the dull side is I am sober all the time therefore my perception of the world has become much darker.

I actually could have done with a few yesterday am (friday) as I had an exercise physiology prac from 10-12. the topic of this prac was anthropometry, which is basically body measuirng, weighing, pinching, palpating and squeezing. In other words, embarrassing.
Even though I do train a lot and am probably more active than a lot of 30 year olds, I am incredibly self conscious about my body. I don't ever go into public shirtless or wear anything sleeveless. All my t shirts are at least a size too big as I hate wearing anything tight like that (looks dumb and just screams out 'look at me'). Deep down, I am pretty shy, which most people don't see, but I have worked pretty well to be able to bullshit and bluster my way past it most the time.
So yesterday when we had to go shirtless for this stuff, I was hating it. I was working with two other guys, who were skinny little guys, so finding the essential 'boney landmarks' was pretty easy on them. On myself however, finding the superior aspect of the most lateral point of the acromium process (little bit of bone at top of shoulder), the other guys had a few issues. This went on and the lecturer actually used me as an example of a hard person to use for this due to development around my upper back and shoulders. As he is saying this, I was squirming around like a little kid who really needed to wee.
Worst part was when we did flexed arm girth. I was the dummy for this also and had to be done in front of the class and yep, I hated it. Just cause no-one else lifts or has been lucky genetically, I end up feeling like a circus freak (and I swear i am not that big).

When I tell people this they generally think I am talking shit, but I swear, whereas a lot of guys who lift a lot drop their shirts at the first opportunity, I would just as soon wear long sleeves all year round. When I was playing a lot of rugby, it didn't matter, everyone was big. Now it seems like I standout a bit more than usual, and No sir, I don't like it.

The obvious answer would be to stop lifting and just do cardio stuff, but honestly, I don't think I can. It is a bit of an addiction and the endorphin rush from it is pretty full on, it is a viscious cycle

posted by SkinFluteSymphony @ 3:30 PM